Market bargains

... I am terrible at bargaining. A bad experience in Samara (where I paid way too much for something because she could tell I wasn't Russian) led me to vow to myself that I would never be overpriced again if I could help it. Yesterday I was at Kievskaya and saw a Putin/Medvedev clock. Yes, I desperately wanted it. I tried to play it cool, also glancing at their shitty, rhinestone watches and fake designer wallets. "How much?" I asked in russian, with nary a smile or amused look on my face. "350" the guy responded. "What? 300 did you say?" "No, 350, maybe 400." I gave him a look and walked away. 300 wouldn't be so bad, and normally I would've paid 350 but I didn't want to jump the gun. I went to Mcdonalds to break a 1000 bill (and eat ice cream... outside... in 40 degree weather). I returned to the booth an hour later, but his wife was in charge now. I glanced at all the clocks, then settled my sight on the putin one. "How much?" "400. Usually 300 but since it has Putin... 400." My response was "Oh Yeah? Uh huh." Then I rolled my eyes to show her I was no fool. She glared at me and I ran away, in case her husband beat me down for being sassy.
I'm going to get that clock, someday. And I'll be damned if I pay more than 350 for it.
I went to a russian mall and found a russian clothing shop that had great, slightly nonsensical english t-shirts. One had a bunny and said "and ZARA<3 hopped away..." My personal favorite was one that said "GOLD CHIHUAHUA" and had, true to form, a chihuahua on it covered in bling and sparkles. It was on sale and I almost bought it, except it didn't fit me at all. This store seemed to be designed for skinny, 14 year old russians, and so it made my stomach flesh look like unappetizing sausage in a GOLD CHIHUAHUA casing. Oh well.
the reason I went to the market was to look for a pumpkin, or тыква, to carve for halloween. Apparently, this market that I went to was more of a flowers, fur hats and coats, and pants sort of market. Also, is was one of those markets you shouldn't really go to alone, as I quickly discovered. It's easy to become flustered and lose the cold, disinterested russian frown on your face when men are going "HEY! hey girl! Girlie, those pants look nice on you, but I have some other pants over here that would look reaaal good on you." Luckily I am used by now to such heckling and so it did not affect me.
anyways, of to school. I'm also going to a yoga class today, so I'm looking forward to that.

Some pictures

I've now spent 2 hours attempting to get these pictures up. yay internet.

the motherland is calling you

zurab tsereteli's dedication to shostakovich

Lenin's garden

tolstoy's house

kremlin at night

the girlies in saratov

starbucks in russia, just like in america

modern art shirt, my lips

marina's dacha

Brisk Fall Day

Photo from the movie I saw today at the art museum

Lately I've been continually brought to the realization that I have so little time left in Moscow. Up until now, I've gone to school, gone out with friends and on excursions, but generally kept to home, reading books or watching Russian tv. So I decided that I needed to get out in Moscow, visit more museums or just see more of the city, because god knows when I'll be back in Russia again with so much free time. I tried to orchestrate a trip to Izmaylova but that fell through, so I decided to go to the Moscow Museum of Modern Art. No one wanted to go so I ended up going myself. It was a really great place, tons of Zurab Tsereteli sculptures. There was a room full of huge christmas light sculptures and a tons of little speakers. There was a microphone you could speak into and a computer would mix it with music and send it into the room for a few minutes. I saw a few friends, all Russian, take turns saying things and laughing at each other. There was also an exhibit of French movies, which was my favorite part. And, of course, because this was a modern art museum they were the weirdest, most fucked up movies I've ever watched. I flitted from room to room but eventually settled on watched a movie called "Body Double X," a drama about French transvestites, all played by one man. It was incredibly creepy and fascinating. For this reason, I'm glad I went alone, because I doubt any of my friends would have sat with me for an hour watching one man playing 10 people having a huge orgy, and then rehearsing for a transvestite Hamlet and having a dinner party. 

I also enjoyed that I was one of the very few people in the room who understood the whole thing. It was in French with English subtitles, and at one point two older Russian women came in the room and sat next to me, looking blankly at the screen until the word "Yes" came up. One woman nudged the other woman and said "YES!" then came a masturbation scene. The giggled nervously and then quickly got up and hustled out, probably to go watch the movie that started with a 30 minute scene in complete blackness with only noises playing "BUH! SEEEE! TUMMM."

I bought a shirt and then went off to the Arbat. I checked out a souvenir store and then went to Starbucks. I wanted to buy a coffee cup there that I really liked, and figured I'd get a coffee while I was at it. I got a mocha and when they were ringing me up, the girl only rang up my cup. Thus, I got a free mocha. I should have pointed this out, but I'm a pretty crummy human being.I like to think that had it been in English, I would have pointed it out, but my insecurity with Russian left me helpless. That's a bunch of bull so I'll just say I didn't mind getting the 8 dollar mocha free. Yeah, 8 dollars. Moscow is crazy expensive.

I headed back to the metro. At this point, I should mention I decided to wear a skirt today. The skirt is sort of wispy thing, and I probably won't be able to wear it again without freezing. I bought it when I first got in Moscow and was boiling to death in my jeans. This also means that it is prone to fly up if there's a slight draft. That means that when a huge metro train comes whooshing by, it REALLY flies up. I caught it and tried desperately to keep it from showing my goodies to everyone on the platform. I turned around and a guy was laughing at me. Not in an obscene, sister I just saw what you got going on under there and I approve way, but rather a friendly laugh, like he had warned me when I was putting on the skirt that  this exact thing was going to happen, and when it did he couldn't help but laugh. I grinned back and then took a fistful of skirt and forced the skirt to behave itself so I could board. Then I sat across from him for 5 stops. He then disappointed me by indeed giving me the creepy metro "up and down" where you feel like someone is undressing you with their eyes, and I did my best to ignore it.

So that was my day. A pretty awesome one if I do say so myself, and it just goes to show the fun that can be had should you decide to take Moscow on all by yourself. I hope to do it again soon.

circus school

I was so excited about the dacha I completely forgot to write about CIRCUS SCHOOL which should be a capital crime because it was awesome. they led us in to a big tent type room and we sat in chairs that were oh maybe 5 feet away from little 16 year old, super ripped little boys juggling everything you can imagine. I guess this doesn't happen to much because they were staring at us more than we stared at them. We saw a girl be raised in a silver hoop high above the ground and do weird gymnasticky things on it. We saw another girl, probably less experienced, who got raised in the hoop and screamed the whole way and then just sat up there, giggling. I'm pretty sure that's what I would be like, if I were about a foot shorter, 20 times more flexible and light enough to be hoisted in a silver hoop high above the floor. 

Eventually we were led into another room where we watched a strapping young gentleman do the rings and parallel bars, and a girl do a little tight rope dealio (it was only a foot from the floor) and fan us with her giant fan and she pranced by. She could tell we were super impressed with the guy doing the rings and looked a little disappointed that we truly did not appreciate her craft. Then again, she was a lot better then the kids just jumping on the trampoline. I mean, come on, I didn't come to circus school to watch you jump on a trampoline. All the circus boys were short with mullets or at least really short hair and spandex and ill fitting wife beaters, except for one kid, who had long, curly hair and was wearing pants and a striped shirt. He was jumping for all his worth on the trampoline and taking pictures of people, and I am fairly certain he is not a circus school student, but actually just snuck into circus school with some friends, taking advantage of their trampoline. Hilary said he might be a clown, but I don't buy it.

Anyways, we came away all thinking that we too had incredible circus talents but I'm afraid we don't. We spent about 5 minute mime juggling and pretending the street was a tight rope, but then the inevitable fact hit us eventually, we're students of Russia, not Russian circus. 

Last night Marina's artist friend Victor came over, and we drank wine mixed with mineral water (blegh) and cheese. Looking at what Marina gave me for dinner, he said "wow that's a lot." But then he said quietly "she's a tyrant, I know." Then she demanded he eat his potatoes and we exchanged a knowing glance. 

Well, off to school.

over the river and through the woods

to Marina's dacha we go! Except make that on the 2 hour commuter train, across several train tracks, crawl under a train, scramble down an embankment, through two neighborhoods, past the senator's house, past the well, over two wooden plank bridges, and through half a mile of deep, thick mud. But we made it eventually, to her dacha. It wasn't enormous but it had some space to it. Most of the space, however, was taken up by random crap, as she explained that "anything that doesn't fit in the Moscow apartment goes here." This means 20 years worth of books, furniture, plastic containers, linens, paintings, bottles, old Mcdonalds bags, you name it. It was crowded but not unpleasant, kind of how I always imagined the "Weasley's" house to look. There was no running water but there was electricity, but no heating. So it was FREEZING. The inside temperature, when we first arrived, came in at about 2 or 3 degrees celsius. She gave me a blanket, started up the fire and got some vodka into me and then I felt a bit warmer. We had lunch and then put on our big socks and toddled our way through the mud to the well, where we collected water. Coming back to the dacha, she went outside to toil in the garden and instructed me to sit on the couch with the dog (who, wasted away as he is, was huddled next to me for warmth). I fell asleep for a bit and woke as she came back in with a bunch of potatoes. We had some more vodka (it was slightly home made... she collected berries, crushed them and added sugar, then poured some vodka in. Blackberry vodka, hmmm...) and then some dinner. I was starting to feel a bit ill, I was coughing and my head hurt. I related this to her, remarking that this would be the first time since I've been in Moscow that I've fallen ill. She gave me one of her looks and said "Emma- you're not falling ill. We can fight this." Then she made me drink red wine (box wine) mixed with hot water. Yep. It was not the nicest thing I've ever tasted but it WAS warm, which was really all that mattered to me at that point. Then she shooed me off to bed, where she had put warm bricks at my feet. This was a new experience and very 18th century, but still I did not sleep comfortably. It became increasingly difficult to breathe when I laid down, whether from illness or allergies I don't know. I slept fitfully and woke up really needing to go to the bathroom (which was outside... in the garden. If the neighbors would have been home they certainly would have seen me squatting in all my glory by the fence, but I don't think or at last I sincerely hope they weren't home). We woke late and she stuffed me full of breakfast then ordered me again to sit on the couch and watch a Pushkin movie. She even found a heating pad and placed it on my lap. I felt really pathetic and asked if I could help her in the garden but she insisted I just sit nicely and watch the movie. I did so, and afterwords she came back inside and said if I felt like it we could take a walk through the woods after tea. She seemed doubtful but I assured her I was of normal strength and could handle it. So we walked through the woods a bit, and then she left me and told me to walk around a little. I took pictures of the woods and of a few houses and then headed back to our dacha. Now we lunched and then rushed to pack up to head back into Moscow. The trip back was grueling, carrying five pounds of celery in the freezing rain with no raincoat for a mile and a half, then sitting on a commuter train, then the metro ride back during rush hour holding the dog as people yelled at me about how much space I was taking up. 

So generally, a good trip. I felt like I was more of a burden then anything else but it was nice of  her to invite me to share the joys of the dacha with me.

Normal Week

I wish I had something more interesting to write about but I'm afraid I don't, I've had a pretty normal week. Friday night a few of us met up for a beer at the aptly named "beer tent" and we saw a bar fight, possibly mafia fueled, but that was about as exciting as it got. Besides that I went to school and did homework. Yesterday was American Club, in which we discuss topics concerning Russia and America and their differences and similarities. We usually do this in English, a point which really ruffled my host mom. "You came all this way to Russia and you speak English... I just don't understand it." I tried to argue that the Russians who come know more English than we know Russian, and then she told me they're just using us as practice, which I'm pretty ok with. She's a really bossy person and tries to give me life lessons every day concerning health and well being. Yesterday when I had a headache and said that I thought I was dehydrated, she gave me a skeptical look. "No, that's not it. You might be catching a cold." I said that in the States I tend to drink more water than I have been able to do here, and that I feel as though this often affects my body negatively. "No, you drink water in the states because it's hot there. It's cold here, so we only drink three cups of tea a day." I argued that it's not because it's hot, it's just what we do, that we believe you should drink mostly water and a lot of it. She was about to beat me down again but then I stressed the words "it's our OPINION" and she settled down. She has also told me to let the dog lick any open wounds I have. The dog smells worse than any homeless man I've ever encountered, so I think I'll pass.

The dog also is very old, and I think he's probably dying. He looks so uncomfortable all the time, is lethargic and doesn't want to eat his usual food. She thinks he has a stomach problem and is taking him to the vet but I think he's on his way out. I don't know if he'll last until December, which is too bad. He's a really good, really gentle dog. I think he's 15 years old or something.

Anyways, now I'm going to the Circus School, so I hope you're all well and I'll write again later.

Cruisey

Hey everyone, I'm finally back! As much as I liked sleeping on a boat, sunning on deck, playing дурак (russian card game- best one ever) and being fed overly oily food, it's good to be home. We visited 6 cities- Nizhny Novgorod, Kazan, Simbirsk, Samara, Saratov, and Volgagrad. I'd say my favorites were Kazan and Volgagrad. In Kazan we went into a mosque and a few orthodox Russian churches, all in which us women had to cover our heads with our scarves. The mosque was beautiful and light, and the orthodox churches were the exact opposite. They were beautiful, naturally, but also stuffy, hot. Every inch of the walls was covered in paintings of Jesus and all those friends of Jesus. Candles were lit with absolute disregard to fire safety, it smelled like christmas. There was actual, live chanting and singing, and a gold bedecked priest or whatever he is called offered who knows what to God and Jesus and all of Jesus' friends. It was incredibly moving and so personal. I almost loved the ritual, until I remembered I was covering my hair. It wasn't that I have something against showing reverence to God in this act, but it bothered me that the men didn't have to do it, only the women. If everyone was throwing scarves and hats over their heads, that would be great. But when only the women do it, it suggests that there's something wrong with being a women, like our hair offends the creator. Like maybe God won't notice that a few women crept into the church if our hair is covered. I'm not buying it, so I think I'll just remain methodist.

I liked Volgagrad mainly because of the statue we saw: The Motherland. Here's the wikipedia article on it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Motherland_Is_Calling

Another really cool place we went was Simbirsk, where Lenin was born and raised. We saw the house where we was born, his enormous, soviet style, completely hideous Lenin memorial museum, and the house where he was raised. Apparently, he was very good at gymnastics. Who knew.

Besides that, it was most fun just to be on the boat, hanging out. We drank, danced to bad electronic keyboard versions of Thriller and, incredibly enough, Bohemian Rhapsody, and did a huge scavenger hunt that I dropped out of within half an hour. Lets just say that the elderly German tourists did not appreciate our presence, except for one named Gunther, who was fond of our antics.

Another really "fun" part of the trip was the train rides. The train ride home was 19 hours. It was kind of fun until we had to sleep, which is impossible for me on a train. The bunks are really hard and you have to reposition yourself every 45 minutes so your body doesn't go numb. Fuuuuuun.

Anyways, I need to go now. I have an excursion today to a world war II museum, and tomorrow it's a bike ride through a botanical garden.

down (up?) the volga

well this will be the last post for at least a week- today I'm leaving for a week long trip. Tonight we take the train to Нижний Новгород, I think, and from there I have no clue. I know there is a boat in my near future but places, times, and activities I am unaware of. 

Yesterday I went to Russian Mcdonalds (Макдоналдс). I'm not really a fan of Mcdonalds, I rarely if ever go in the states, and I don't think I've had anything but coffee there in at least a few years. Just a few too many showings of Supersize Me, I'm afraid. But, despite my lack of enthusiasm for a Big Mac, I still think Russian McDonalds is better than the American version. Erika and Paige went with me and they actually got burgers and chicken nuggets and agreed the food was better. I got ice cream and a cappuccino,  and the cappuccino was actually decent. The restaurant was big, open and airy, and there was a guy running around with a palm computer. He would take your orders, input them into the system, and then give you a slip of paper with a number on it. You take it to the cash register, she pulls up your number and gets the food for you. Pretty snazzy. I only went, however, to be completely annoying and get change for my 1000 ruble bill. 1000 ruble bills are stressful to have,because often places you want to get food or a bottle of water don't have change for that much, especially if you're only buying 30 rubles worth of stuff. They then yell at you, in Russian, which always sounds worse than being yelled at in English, and actually it's not yelling at all. Russian intonation makes just about everything sound like yelling to my ear. So, anyways, Mcdonalds has no problem giving you change for an 1000 dollar bill. Thus we went. I might go back there for coffee someday, it was actually one of the more pleasant Mcdonalds "experiences" I've had in my life. The least pleasant was when I was 7, and distinctly remember becoming sick off the chicken "mcnuggets."

anyways, it's a gray and gloomy day here. Hopefully it will be nicer weather down south, on our boat trip. they say that when we visit cities it might even get up into the 60's, but on the river it will be freezing. This is the last boat trip of the season before the weather gets too bad. I even heard rumor it's supposed to snow in Moscow next week. 

Well friends, I have to drag myself away from this computer and my warm cup of tea and go to school. I will try to write most illuminatingly of my trip on the Volga for you next time I can, in about a week.