last post in russia

I think, friends, that this is my last post I will write in Russia!

I wrote some last night when I came home after our dinner party with the teachers. I was mildly drunk at this point:

It’s funny how surreal everything is, especially time. One month I’m suffering from heat stroke, lying on my bed in shorts and guzzling water, wanting nothing more than to be home in Florida in the air conditioning. The next, I’m running across the outdoor “perehod” in my little ankle boots sobbing at the thought of leaving Moscow.
Here it is, folks, despite the moaning, the groaning, the bitching, the lamenting, I have come to the realization that I love Russia. I love Russia with all of my aching, breaking heart. Goddamn if Ryan and my family and friends could just all move here things would be perfect. I love this place and it literally breaks my heart the more I think of it.
Also heightened by the amount of “sovietskoe” champagne I drank at our farewell dinner.
And our farewell dinner oh my goodddd what a dinner. Between John slipping around the table, sneakily pouring champagne, Anton’s recitation of Парус, (Белеет парус, одинокий, в тумане моря голубом…), Annabell's 2 minute long, completely crazy/courageous rap (in Russian!!), the multitude of toasts (the mulititude of champagne drank in honor of those toasts), Suptik BREAKING his wine glass (after proclaiming- «I don't drink! Well, only wine!»*smash*) ,the increasingly drunk and rowdy Mikel, Alexsander Dimitrievich's sharing of the whiskey, and, koneshno, Lubov Andreevna's ummmm SUPER AWKWARD little speech to us dear dorogie girls at the beginning…. Oh dear god help us. What a freakin night, what a crazy night to end all nights. And then I pattered home, kind of drunk, ok really drunk, and Jackie, the most anti-alcoholic never imbibing girl in our group chatted me up on the way home. I felt bad for being so drunk on one of our rare conversational moments but it can't be helped- plus I'm probably more friendly when I'm a little inebriated anyways. I wanted to buy my Marina a bottle of champagne to wish her a happy new year and as I was stumbling into the store, who do I see BUT HER and she didn't notice me thank god and I raced top the sovietskoe champagne and grabbed a bottle and peaced out so she wouldn't see me buying her champagne. All the same I could see her in the other check out line (though she couldn't see me ha ha ah haha) and she had ought herself ohhh maybe 5 bottles of the same champagne. Whatevs.
Guys, well, um. I saw lenin again yesterday. It was fantastic and went I was leaving I took one last glance and said «goodbye, little Lenin» in my head and that was that. God grant I can see him again someday… ohhh Leni-doodles.
Also… I bought a watch yesterday. It is a «slava» and it is soooo bling it makes your eyes hurt. Not really… but it's beautiful! It's blue and mother of pearl and diamondy and bling. And it's a really, not plastic watch and I love it. It makes a little ticking sound and I actually have to tell the time so it's great. I love this watch.
And I bought tights yesterday and they're crazzzzzyyyy. They have weird things on the side, like weird gray bubbles. Russians are weird and they love weird tights. Oh russia. :'( I love russia.
Guys! I can't leave! I love all of you and I'm psyched to see everyone but dear god it hurts my heart. It hurts so bad to leave. And I hate the traveling part- the packing airport exhaustion part. And it hurts and I don't want to leave. And how can life pass so quickly without even your realization? I can't even recollect where half of my days went… they were just normal days that I guess I didn't bother to categorize in my mind and just passed like wisps of smoke. How can it be possible to love a place this much and leave?
I guess what I'm also feeling is love for the other americans I spent this time with, most of whom where the nicest, sweetest, most intelligent, funniest people you've ever met. And there's just something about being in Russia that bonds you to people.

end of post by "few too many glasses of sovietskoe champagne" Emma
and then I cried on the phone to ryan, then the phone died, then I took some aspirin and went to bed.
And now it's my last day! I will be heading to the airport at 3 am tomorrow. Today I will be finishing packing and maybe seeing some ice sculptures. See you all very, very soon :) And despite what I wrote last night when I felt incredibly sad, the other emotion I feel is incredible happiness that I get to come home to a place where I know people love me, and where I understand everything and people understand me and there are ice cubes and marshmallows, and that's worth crying for too.

Ivan the Terrible

Read the wikipedia article about Ivan the Terrible:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_IV_of_Russia

what a crazy guy! Although, according to this article, he really should have been called "Ivan the Awesome" in English. I agree that "terrible" gives us a different connotation, but I don't think awesome works because of its use in modern lingo. I don't think it's very "awesome" to depopulate your entire country for a crippling, draining war, kill your advisers because you're a paranoid schizophrenic, beat your pregnant daughter in law to the point of causing a miscarriage, kill your competent son, and leave your kingdom in the hands of the crazy, retarded son. But that's just me.

Yesterday Marina took me on a tour of MGU, because she works there as a biology teacher. It was AWESOME. I wish I could study at MGU. The whole campus is huge and sprawling, and the main building is incredible. We ate at the cafeteria in there (well, one of the many many cafeterias) and the food was actually pretty good. Except for the jellied ham and cheese. Yep. I thought I'd make it out of russia without being forced to eat jellied meat but I was very wrong. 

Because it was a saturday the place was quieter than usual, and a bunch of the lights were turned off. She took me upstairs to show me the "reception hall" where they hold big events. It was completely dark, with only a little light shining from downstairs. The ceilings where high, everything was marble, it was incredible. It felt like an abandoned ballroom, then we tripped over some students who were lying in the middle on a blanket and marina started yelling about how people "sit in the way, no respect for other people...etcetcetc."

christmas-y

Yelsilev grocery, taken through the window. I was afraid to take a picture inside
The Olympic store cafe?
soooooo beautifulllllll

Dracula

I only have 4 days left in Moscow… can you believe this?! I absolutely cannot. How does time work? Where does it go, and why so fast? Anyone know?
This last week has been really hectic- we’ve had school exams basically everyday and then today we had to come in to school to fill out teacher evaluations and take 2 hours of testing to determine if we’ve progressed in Russia. It. Sucked. But I definitely did better on the tests than I did in August so at least I have that.
I took my conversation class exam on Thursday which I was really fearing, because I hate that teacher and we had to talk to her for 10 minutes about a topic we pick at the beginning of class. I got lucky with the topic “Travel”- there were lots of verbs I knew relating to that and you can just go on and on with examples, “When you travel you need to avoid certain things. Like, in Mexico avoid the water. In India avoid the tigers. In Russia avoid dark streets, drunk people, men, dogs, the police, bad vodka, cars… well, just avoid everything.” I think I gave examples of things to avoid in Moscow for about 4 minutes. Then she asked where I wanted to travel in the world. I immediately responded “Romania.” She was surprised and said she thought I would say Japan or China or something like that, and asked why I chose Romania, because it’s a poor country and there’s nothing to do there. So I started “Well, um, you know, I heard it’s pretty there, and there’s mountains and… rivers and…. Ok, the truth is I want to see Dracula’s castle and do the Dracula tour.”
I don’t know if any of you know this because it’s one of those things I’m borderline ashamed of, but I LOVE DRACULA. I love Dracula and all vampires. I have been obsessed with vampires since I was 8 years old and read a book of Russian folklore. I have seen tons of vampire/Dracula movies, and I’ve read Dracula several times, as well as “The Historian”. I know the Wikipedia article about Vlad the Impaler and the Blood Countess Elizaveta like the back of my hand. I have seen “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” by Coppola at least 5 times. I’ve taken the New Orleans vampire tour, I’ve been to vampire bars in New Orleans, and when I was a kid I thought vampires lived in my guest room and this was the least of my worries. I draw the line at that Twilight crap and even Anne Rice, though I have also seen “Interview with a Vampire” at least 5 times (mostly because of Brad Pitt and if you don’t mind me saying so he makes a fiiiiiiiiine vampire). I’m more of a traditionalist vampire connosieur, I’m not looking to fall in love with a vampire and live a crazy passionate nocturnal life, I just LOVE VAMPIRES.

Anyways… so I touched on this subject and she thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. She was like “What?!?! Dracula?!? Is he real??” I schooled her on vampire lore and we talked for like 20 minutes. At the end of it she said, “We’ve been talking for 20 minutes! I actually had a good time!” and she was completely surprised by this…. I mean, I was too. She then said she thought I had improved a lot and that she could see that when I speak I try to always be grammatically correct and that she really appreciated that.
Today after testing I got lunch with Julia and Erika and we had a super intense conversation about life and discovering ourselves, then I went to Red Square (I can’t get enough of that place) and bought 5 pounds worth of honey cake, then popped into GUM to get my holiday happiness fix, then walked along tverskaya and bought some soviet propaganda post cards. Then I went to Yelsilev Grocery, the most beautiful grocery store in the world (more beautiful than gastronom odin in GUM). It’s baroque style with big, beautiful chandeliers, marble floors, ornate gold details; it’s breathtaking. And I bought my first/last/only bottle of vodka. I read in my guidebook that “Yuri soandso” vodka is good to buy, that it’s smooth and has a cool bottle. I’m glad I had a suggestion, because I would have had NO idea what to buy besides that. I probably in the end would’ve picked the prettiest bottle, or one with the words “FROM SIBERIA” on it. Siberia is just one of those words, like Yukon, that gives you this crazy image of a vast, lonely, beautiful, snowy place. I would probably buy anything with SIBERIA on it. The vodka wasn’t too expensive, around 30 bucks for a liter. You can get vodka here for 5 dollars but you just might be dead the next day, so I’ll take my chances.
Anyways, tomorrow I’m going to Izmaylova again to get myself a Cheburashka matryoshka and some other odds and ends, then going to MGU with Marina! I’m excited to see the inside. Monday is my last day of school! Very soon I will be saying “da svedanya” to Russia and “privet!” to America.
And my computer is making a terrible, terrible noise ☹

lenin's Mausoleum... again!

ok I wrote this whole long post yesterday about how I went to see Lenin again and I ate a "sugar milk" honey cake and watched the changing of the guard and it was pure poetry... and then my internet crapped out and it was lost forever and I'm devastatteedddd... not really. 

So in short, yes, I went to see Lenin again, and it only took 30 minutes. And I was a model American tourist and tried to use my very best Russian with the guards letting you into the Kremlin Burial Wall area. "No, officer, I do not have a camera. Here, let me open this for you. That is a telephone, but only that. It is not a camera. Thank you so very much." That is exactly how I sound in Russian, but maybe more like "I am not having a camera at this moment. You like me open bag for you? OK This I do. Phone? Yes it phone but only as such, no camera there." Ahhh my lifeeee... in Russian. 

So anyways I saw Lenin again, and seeing him alone is very, very different than seeing him with someone. Even though you would be forbidden to talk with that someone, there's just something about having them there that comforts you. Like seeing a movie to someone... even though you don't really talk to someone, there'll still there and you can look at them meaningfully and it makes the whole experience better. Or sometimes you go to a movie that's so ridiculous, you and your boyfriend talk through the whole thing, making sarcastic comments and predicting whether or not the killer will actually kill someone using tinsel (I'm referring to one movie in particular, that being Black Christmas). Also, when you see a movie alone, or, in the same vein, see Lenin's mummy alone, you begin to feel sort of pathetic. Like, I couldn't get someone to go with me to see Lenin's 80 year old waxy body in his creepy, creepy super soviet dark tomb... what's wrong with me? Not that I have anything against doing things alone, I'm all for it and I have seen movies alone without incidence. But just take this advise from me: if you can help it, don't see Lenin alone. That said I might go again next weekend and probably no one will go with me   !!!!!!!

So then I bought a honey cake and watched the changing of the guard. Honey cakes are so delicious, I am planning on lining my suitcase with them and trying to start a honey cake revolution in the states. Soooooo good! And so many different flavors to choose from! And so many different shapes! The changing of the guard was, eh, run of the mill. Except they kick their feet REALLY high. Like humorless cheerleaders.

And today began my last week of school. I'm torn between being deliriously happy and kind of sad. I think about Sutik, the video teacher, Galina Mikhailovna asking us questions about the best type of cat, or Levon sadly shaking his head and smiling saying "Mistakes! Mistakes!" and I feel that I will so miss these people. Then I think of Tamara Evgenevna saying "you guys are so boring. Repeat after me: I am lazy, I am a shame upon all students" or the geography teacher and I feel very, very ready to leave. It's like everything else in life, it's so beautiful but then certain people just come along and make you want to rip your hair out. What is the answer?

10 days till I set foot in Florida... :)

this is a honey cake:

Pictures- red square in daylight, GUM, Lenin day

Moscow State University, where my tutor Masha studies!

Lenin's masoleum

Hi Lenin! I took this picture really sketchily because I wasn't sure if I'd have to pay or not. But then he waved! And I was so excited. Like, butterflies in my stomach. I love Lenin
State History Museum
Christmas Cosmonaut Dog... of course

Babies and Christmas trees!
christmasy ГУМ
ahhh so beautiful
I walked around eating creme brulee ice cream and wanting to live here forever. Except I'm barely good looking enough to shop here, and definitely 3 plastic surgeries away from working here. Such is life
Outside of guuum
Belltower
need I say more? Except why were so many people here? Anyone know? Is it because alexei the second died?
Lenin, me and.... someoneee.... I had to pay for this privilege, because I'm a week and a half away from home and I figured I haven't been touristy enough during my stay here. In fact I've spent most of my time ashamedly taking pictures and hoping no one realizes I'm from America and subsequently beats me to a pulp and steals my money. Also, I look like a bald reanimated zombie in the picture... WTF. I feel like the photographer should have been like  "zombie girl! let's make this a little less dead corpse and liven it up." Oh well, Vladimir Ilyich steals the picture anyway with his little newspaper. Doesn't he look just like Lenin? I've seen what's left of Lenin... and believe me, this guy looks the part. Maybe this is really a double zombie picture. Ok, enough.

Beer Factory

So the other day my host mom brought her neighbor and friend over unexpectedly. I was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea and reading a book. As soon as the friend came in Marina began her introductions, "Emma, this is Olga Dimitrievna, Olya this is Emma." She then begins what she always does when introducing me to Swedish, which is describe some of what she considers to be my finer attributes, and it sort of sounds like she's trying to sell me, or rather, the animal version of me. She says things like "Look how beautiful she is, she's Swedish." "The lines on her mother and father's side are both Swedish." "Look how BIG she is." "Emma, show your hands, look at her hands!" I then expect her to have me get up and walk around the room so the friend may examine my stride, or pat my flank with a little "that'll do, that'll do." This friend, however, was completely not interested in me. She was an older lady, maybe 70, and she had cut her finger and so all her attention was concentrated on the finger. She kind of nodded at me and started out with "Marina, do you have iodine?" Marina still tried to recapture the interest, like any good horse breeder, "she's improved soooo much since she's lived here with me..." "you should have heard her when she first came, god help us." They then began to discuss how Marina redid her kitchen a few years back.

Yesterday was our last excursion, to the beer factory! It ended, of course, with a beer sampling that lasted around 40 minutes. As much beer and kvass as you can possibly drink in that amount of time. Needless to say, we all left at least a little buzzed or, in the case of a few select people, completely trashed. The beer, in my opinion, was marginally good at it's very best so I didn't care to drink too much of it. They did have an interesting little creation, that being children's kvass. Kvass is

"sometimes translated into English as bread drink, is a fermented mildly alcoholic beverage made from black or rye bread. It is popular in Russia, Belarus, Ukraine and other Eastern and Central European countries as well as in all ex-Soviet states, like Uzbekistan, where one can see many kvass vendors in the streets. Its origins go back 5,000 years to the beginnings of beer production. The alcohol content is so low (0.05-1.44%) that it is considered acceptable for consumption by children. It is often flavored with fruits or herbs such as strawberries or mint." (from Wikipedia)

So we tried children's apple kvass, which was sweeter than regular kvass and tasted a little like cider. There was also horseradish kid's kvass available, but after allison tried it and said "ugh. it tastes like saline. or brine. Or boullion beer" I figured I'd pass.

Later last night we all met up to try to keep the good times going and celebrate our final excursion in a bar, but it was 9 on a friday night and there were 11 of us. No such luck. We ended up at the "coffee bean" drinking coffee, eating pie (well, me and jan ate pie), looking at Matt and Anton's drivers licenses and school id's (matt's school id features him with a beard and a huge 'fro, Anton's looks like his prison application for the Aryan Brotherhood), and listening to Ben do impressions of everyone in the group (his Carlos is fantastic). I then came home and Marina complimented me on how pretty I can look when I put on makeup, which always seems like a backhanded compliment to me. Oh well.

and here's a great video Ryan sent me

Photo Contest

Hey everyone I won 3rd place in the ACTR Fall 08 photo contest! It's here on this page:

http://acrussiaabroad.org/pgDetail.php?id=320

It was the picture I took on the tour bus in Petersburg, with the Church of Spilled Blood through the window. I don't think I win anything special, I'm just happy.

Especially since yesterday was a really crazy day for me. I went from a really happy place to a really bad place in just a matter of two hours. I had a fine day at school, I actually like the classes I take Monday, and then after school allison and I got coffee and she found a kitten in her stairwell and we went and played with the kitten, which was adorable and kind of pathetically sad, because someone just plopped it in a box in the stairs. We talked for a long time and had a really nice conversation.

Then I was riding the bus home and thinking about how much I like Moscow and I want to come back here and maybe work or live here for awhile. I was thinking about all the progress I've made so far and just feeling really happy and good.

Then I go home and ask Marina to proofread my paper about war communism for history class. It's like our final exam for this class so I wanted it to be with as little errors as possible. And I was actually really proud of this paper because, even though I just read up on the internet to find my "Research," I wrote it pretty quickly on Saturday and it wasn't really a problem. I've never had such ease writing in Russian before. I knew it wasn't perfect but I didn't think it was shitty either.

And then Marina read it.

I don't know, she just got really intense and was like "wow your grammar sucks" which, granted it isn't the best, I don't think it SUCKS. Also, I think if I were proofreading someone's, say a foreigner's, paper, I wouldn't shake my head, sigh dramatically and go "this is soooooo NOTTTT english." Which is basically what she did. "This doesn't sound Russian." Well it's obvious that it doesn't have all the nuances a Russian writer might have granted to it- because I'm not Russian! It took me 4 years of studying French 5 days a week to understand the nuances of French- I'm definitely not at that point yet. And also, I didn't really learn the vocabulary in school to go along with the theme of "implementing collectivization policies in Soviet Russian during 1918 and 1921 and the production and seizure of grain from peasant farms leading to the introduction of the New Economic Policy." I had to look up a lot of words, and I don't know the nuances of said words. It was just... a nightmare. I felt completely awful. I think she saw crestfallen I was because towards the end she was like "it was a hard topic, you had the right ideas." 

Then she tried to make me change my plans with Masha today to go to the conservatory with her a her friend. She always makes me do stuff so last minute, like 3 hours before.

"Emma- come to the conservatory tomorrow with me and Natasha."

" I have plans with Masha we're going to the Darwin Museum."

"The Darwin Museum will always be there- come to the conservatory."

"I'm not going to cancel plans with Masha."

"Bring her along."

"She might not like it." 

"Yes she will- call her right now."

I had absolutely no will or energy to call masha and completely change plans so I didn't. I'll tell her Masha had a meeting to go to at 7:30 and we couldn't go to the conservatory.

Then I went to bed and cried and had a mini panic attack. What if my grammar really does SUCK? What if I haven't improved enough? What if every time I zoned out during lecture or read a book in English instead of reading the dictionary, I slipped a little bit more? What if my testing shows that I'm nothing but a dud?

Well friends, I guess all these questions and more will soon be answered. I just try to keep in mind that I know I improved, I met a lot of goals, and I can give someone directions in Russian on the street, and I'll have to be happy with that.