Monday, December 15, 2008

last post in russia

I think, friends, that this is my last post I will write in Russia!
I wrote some last night when I came home after our dinner party with the teachers. I was mildly drunk at this point:

It’s funny how surreal everything is, especially time. One month I’m suffering from heat stroke, lying on my bed in shorts and guzzling water, wanting nothing more than to be home in Florida in the air conditioning. The next, I’m running across the outdoor “perehod” in my little ankle boots sobbing at the thought of leaving Moscow.
Here it is, folks, despite the moaning, the groaning, the bitching, the lamenting, I have come to the realization that I love Russia. I love Russia with all of my aching, breaking heart. Goddamn if Ryan and my family and friends could just all move here things would be perfect. I love this place and it literally breaks my heart the more I think of it.
Also heightened by the amount of “sovietskoe” champagne I drank at our farewell dinner.
And our farewell dinner oh my goodddd what a dinner. Between John slipping around the table, sneakily pouring champagne, Anton’s recitation of Парус, (Белеет парус, одинокий, в тумане моря голубом…), Annabell's 2 minute long, completely crazy/courageous rap (in Russian!!), the multitude of toasts (the mulititude of champagne drank in honor of those toasts), Suptik BREAKING his wine glass (after proclaiming- «I don't drink! Well, only wine!»*smash*) ,the increasingly drunk and rowdy Mikel, Alexsander Dimitrievich's sharing of the whiskey, and, koneshno, Lubov Andreevna's ummmm SUPER AWKWARD little speech to us dear dorogie girls at the beginning…. Oh dear god help us. What a freakin night, what a crazy night to end all nights. And then I pattered home, kind of drunk, ok really drunk, and Jackie, the most anti-alcoholic never imbibing girl in our group chatted me up on the way home. I felt bad for being so drunk on one of our rare conversational moments but it can't be helped- plus I'm probably more friendly when I'm a little inebriated anyways. I wanted to buy my Marina a bottle of champagne to wish her a happy new year and as I was stumbling into the store, who do I see BUT HER and she didn't notice me thank god and I raced top the sovietskoe champagne and grabbed a bottle and peaced out so she wouldn't see me buying her champagne. All the same I could see her in the other check out line (though she couldn't see me ha ha ah haha) and she had ought herself ohhh maybe 5 bottles of the same champagne. Whatevs.
Guys, well, um. I saw lenin again yesterday. It was fantastic and went I was leaving I took one last glance and said «goodbye, little Lenin» in my head and that was that. God grant I can see him again someday… ohhh Leni-doodles.
Also… I bought a watch yesterday. It is a «slava» and it is soooo bling it makes your eyes hurt. Not really… but it's beautiful! It's blue and mother of pearl and diamondy and bling. And it's a really, not plastic watch and I love it. It makes a little ticking sound and I actually have to tell the time so it's great. I love this watch.
And I bought tights yesterday and they're crazzzzzyyyy. They have weird things on the side, like weird gray bubbles. Russians are weird and they love weird tights. Oh russia. :'( I love russia.
Guys! I can't leave! I love all of you and I'm psyched to see everyone but dear god it hurts my heart. It hurts so bad to leave. And I hate the traveling part- the packing airport exhaustion part. And it hurts and I don't want to leave. And how can life pass so quickly without even your realization? I can't even recollect where half of my days went… they were just normal days that I guess I didn't bother to categorize in my mind and just passed like wisps of smoke. How can it be possible to love a place this much and leave?
I guess what I'm also feeling is love for the other americans I spent this time with, most of whom where the nicest, sweetest, most intelligent, funniest people you've ever met. And there's just something about being in Russia that bonds you to people.

end of post by "few too many glasses of sovietskoe champagne" Emma
and then I cried on the phone to ryan, then the phone died, then I took some aspirin and went to bed.
And now it's my last day! I will be heading to the airport at 3 am tomorrow. Today I will be finishing packing and maybe seeing some ice sculptures. See you all very, very soon :) And despite what I wrote last night when I felt incredibly sad, the other emotion I feel is incredible happiness that I get to come home to a place where I know people love me, and where I understand everything and people understand me and there are ice cubes and marshmallows, and that's worth crying for too.


1 comment:

anna said...

please please please come home to me soon (and safely...)